Can I or can’t I?

There are certain things that Parkinson’s has put limits onto my Daily life.

What I find frustrating is recognizing the things I can no longer do, the things I can continue to do and the things I get apathetic about doing.

How do I separate them? How do I know which is which?

I feel mentally that I can do it. Then find out I can’t or struggle at it. Or I struggle at it then get apathetic about finishing it.

Sometimes I get all three emotions in the one deed. I start off being able to do the task, 5 minutes later struggle at it then 5 minutes later say ” what the fuck” and succumb to the “I don’t care if it gets done” or” I will do it later” stage.

This can cause anguish not only in me but in my caregiver as well.

Do I feel like I’m pulling my weight? Not only in our business relationship but in our personal and sexual relationship as well?

If I have these thoughts, so to must my caregiver.

These feelings of doubt can and has effected how I and we communicate to each other.

Am I just becoming a complainer or am I using Parkinson’s as a crutch?

The answer is possibly both. Yet the problem is knowing it, facing it, and stopping it.

Communication seems to be a key, yet it is now becoming one of my problem areas. Once a strong point I now struggle at it and must now find a different method to try and communicate.

I have normally been more a verbal communicator, then write things out. The reverse is now true. I seem I must now write things down to be able to talk about them.

There is more to explore, but……Will explore that later. Sigh!

Published by Parkinson's My Super Power

My name is Ian Robertson, I was diagnosed with parkinson's May of 2012. I started taking medication May 2016. I am active. I run, I dance, I curl, I hike, I bike, I skate and I am a Instructor for hockey goaltenders I am self employed. I married in 1982 and have three children, and 8 grandchildren.

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